I am NOT Maverick Marketing Sydney

1. THE BIKINI BABE

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Meet Jenny.

She’s quit her job.

She’s ratted out her boss to everyone else in the office.

She did it with whiteboards.

Her pictures have gone viral.

I laughed and laughed when I saw them. Everyone else that I know that saw them laughed too.

Check them out for yourself (but only if you want a good laugh).

Jenny comes hot on the heels of this McDonalds customer who, suffering McNugget rage, threw a whopping tantrum when told she couldn’t get her beloved chicken nuggets at a McDonald’s in Toledo, Ohio.

All because the restaurant was serving breakfast.

So engulfed by fury was she, that she clobbered the staff.

You can see in the video, she leans through the window, whacks one hapless employee then another, before smashing the drive-through window with a bottle before fleeing the scene.

Melodi Dushane was sentenced to 60 days in jail and ordered to pay for the broken window.

And her footage was chucked on the Internet for good measure.

And no post would be complete without a mention of Steven Slater, the airline steward that’s become a hero after having a seriously bad day at the office.

I’d never heard of JetBlue before this guy parachutes off, a couple of beers in hand, having had a fisticuffs with a badly-behaved passenger.

Good promotion for the airline, despite its stated official position as a p-d off employer.

UPDATE: Jenny is an actress from LA so she didn’t quit spectacularly as the world thought HOWEVER she did deliver a load of laughs.

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TWO bank robbers who blew themselves up trying to make a sizable withdrawal from an ATM have been declared the 2009 winners of the Darwin Awards.

Organisers say the annual “prize” is given to “those doing the most to improve the human gene pool … by removing themselves from it”.

The awards are named after Charles Darwin, the Father of Evolution.

This year the dubious first place went to the pair of bungling thieves in Belgium who wildly overestimated the amount of dynamite they needed to rob a bank.

They both were killed when the blast demolished the entire building the ATM was housed in.

Police only found the body of the second robber some twelve hours after digging through the debris.

They had initially assumed he had made a getaway.

The bankrobbers just edged ahead of second-place getter, Florida man Shawn Motero, who was stuck in a traffic jam when nature called.

He got out of his car and jumped over a concrete wall to find a more secluded spot.

Unfortunately, the 30-year-old had not realized he was on a bridge and fell 65ft (19.8m) to his death.

Award organisers said the accident proved you should “look before you leak”.

Police revealed Mr Motero had been drinking at a bar in Pompano Beach before his tragic death, adding: ‘He probably thought there was a road, but there wasn’t.’

The first woman to be nominated for the award came in at third place.

Rosanne Tippett drove her moped through a police road block – straight into a flooded river.

After being rescued by police she jumped back into the water to rescue her vehicle – and drowned.

Before embarking on her final journey the 50-year-old had phoned her mother and told her: “My moped has two rubber wheels, Mom, I’ll be fine.”

Her mum later admitted: “She loved that thing.”

Other nominees for the 2009 awards included an armed robber who used gold spray paint to disguise his face as he raided a convenience store.

The paint released toxic fumes and Thomas James, from South Carolina, collapsed and died shortly after the robbery.

To add insult to injury, the disguise didn’t work – with witnesses having no problem identifying the 23-year-old.

From Adelaide Now.

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I can confirm that Santa Claus will depart the North Pole at 6pm Australian time tonight.

Check out the wonderful work of Santa Claus and the mighty team at Norad.

A little bit about Norad…

For more than 50 years, NORAD and its predecessor, the Continental Air Defense Command (CONAD) have tracked Santa’s Christmas Eve flight.

The tradition began in 1955 after a Colorado Springs-based Sears Roebuck & Co. advertisement for children to call Santa misprinted the telephone number. Instead of reaching Santa, the phone number put kids through to the CONAD Commander-in-Chief’s operations “hotline.” The Director of Operations at the time, Colonel Harry Shoup, had his staff check the radar for indications of Santa making his way south from the North Pole. Children who called were given updates on his location, and a tradition was born.

In 1958, the governments of Canada and the United States created a bi-national air defense command for North America called the North American Aerospace Defense Command, also known as NORAD, which then took on the tradition of tracking Santa.

Since that time, NORAD men, women, family and friends have selflessly volunteered their time to personally respond to Christmas Eve phone calls and emails from children. In addition, we now track Santa using the internet. Last year, millions of people who wanted to know Santa’s whereabouts visited the NORAD Tracks Santa website.

Finally, media from all over the world rely on NORAD as a trusted source to provide Christmas Eve updates on Santa’s journey.

In Memory of Colonel (Retired) Harry Shoup, USAF
NORAD’s First Santa Tracker
September 29, 1917 – March 14, 2009

RIP Harry. What you started is a truly wonderful thing for children all over the world.

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UPDATE – September 2010

Obama, thrusting forth the chalice of hope (not to forget his celebrity appearance in a cardboard cut-out doll book) understands first-hand that good ol’ sinking feeling that befits even the most upbeat of us from time to time.

(You know you have a problem when more than half of your voters strongly disapprove of you.)

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It’s such a relief to know that I’m not the only one who thinks so.

Lyrics
I want to tell you all a story ’bout a Harper Valley widow wife
Who had a teenage daughter that attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn’t even stop to play
And she said, “Mama, I’ve got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA”

Well the note says “Mrs. Johnson, you’re wearing your dresses way too high
It’s been reported you’ve been drinkin’ and a runnin’ round with men and goin’ wild
Now we don’t believe you ought to be a bringin’ up your little girl this way”
And it was signed by the Secretary, Harper Valley PTA

Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon
And boy, were they surprised as Mrs. Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room
And as she walked up to the blackboard I can still recall the word she had to say
She said “I’d like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA

Now there’s Bobby Taylor sittin’ there and seven times he’s asked me for a date
And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lot of ice whenever he’s away
And Mr. Baker can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town
And shouldn’t widow Jones be told to keep her window shades all pulled completely down

Now Mr. Harper couldn’t be here ’cause he’s stayed too long in Kelly’s bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson’s breath you’ll find she’s had a little nip of gin
And then you have the nerve to tell me as a mother you think that I ain’t fit
Well this is just a little Peyton Place and you’re all Harper Valley hypocrites.”

Now I wouldn’t put you on because it really did, it happened just this way
That day my Mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA
That day my Mama socked it to ‘em at the Harper Valley PTA

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Okay, so hot on the heels of my post that was called 7 Extremely Unfortunate Domain Names comes these 25 seriously embarrassing marketing blunders.

First up, I’d like to thank the many websites that have contributed by sharing different blunders – without their hard work and dedication to the noble cause of creating laughter in the world, it would be extremely difficult for me to have compiled this list.

So, without further ado, here it goes (in no particular order):

#1. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux released an American campaign with the slogan Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.

(Actually, I can think of a few other things, such as hairy nostrils that require tweezers, parking tickets issued to your dog and viruses that crap out your computer that all suck. But hey, let’s not quibble about it.)

#2. Coors coverted its slogan Turn It Loose into Spanish. Its translation reads Suffer from Diarrhea.

#3. Clairol introduced the curling iron Mist Stick into Germany. In Germany mist is slang for manure.

#4. Gerber‘s entry into selling baby food in Africa featured a beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. In Africa, marketers put pictures on the label of what’s inside since most people can’t read. (Even Africans don’t feed their kids dead babies.) In other bad news, Gerber is the French word for vomiting so I’d guess that France will be omitted from any expansion plans.

#5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, presumably named after the notorious naughty magazine.
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